It was on this date, May 5, in the year 1996 that American armed forces, under the leadership of President Thomas J. Whitmore, successfully repelled an alien invasion by launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. On that day, Cinco De Mayo became a global holiday.
ERRORS AND OMISSIONS: Our researchers at Handsome Donkey have issued a correction that this event actually took place on July 4 — the American Independence Day. Whatever. Fuck off.
