After a massive worldwide search and dozens of rounds of auditions, screen tests, work sessions, chemistry reads, and contract negotiations, we are finally excited to announce that the lead role in Handsome Donkey’s Feature Film Debut “ONE BLADE AT A TIME: The Rudy Galindo Story” has been awarded to none other than Handsome Donkey’s own… 1998-Aaron Greenberg!

I am hereby presenting a theory that Sir Paul’s guitarist, Rusty Anderson, is actually a character originally played by Rusty himself, but has since been replaced by dead-ringer Ty Burrell, who you may also recognize for his work on ABC’s “MODERN FAMILY.”

I know this is a controversial call, as many Rusty Anderson’s fans are sure to think that Rusty is still played by Rusty, but I think you’ll find the photographic evidence below undeniable.

Ultimately the beard contest was ruled a tie, although I thought AC should have won for the freshness of the woven braid. Maybe you guys see that all the time, but it was a first for me. Attaboy, AC.

When Brendan told me he would leave no stone unturned helping me look for my lost keys I really appreciated it, but I didn’t realize what a good friend he really was.  Needless to say, they weren’t in there.  They were in the door the whole time!  Thanks anyway BC, you’re a real pal.

This is simply too amazing to not share it with the world.

In a shocking press conference earlier today, the Treasury Department announced its plans to ratchet up the previous administration’s poorly conceived and ineffectively executed Troubled Assets Relief Program, or T.A.R.P. The new initiative has been dubbed the Troubled Asset Robotic Predator, and is programmed to stabilize the nation’s foundering financial institutions using Cold War era pseudo-science to eradicate toxic mortgage-backed securities. The $800 billion dollar robot is equipped with a death ray and is authorized to punish avaricious and unscrupulous Wall Street CEOs with its terrifying, yet non-lethal “stun” setting. Federal Reserve insiders say T.A.R.P. 3000 is also expected to curb inflation by vaporizing stacks of money.

Today’s unveiling took place in what critics have called an “overly dramatic fashion” when Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner announced somewhat menacingly to the press corps, “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you … T.A.R.P!” He then pulled a white sheet from what appeared to be a crudely assembled pile of metal and rubber tubing. Within seconds T.A.R.P. 3000′s eyes illuminated, at which point the robot became fully activated and subsequently lumbered through a brick wall. When questioned about T.A.R.P. 3000, a senior Treasury spokesman speaking on condition of anonymity, called the quasi-humanoid robot, “pretty fuckin’ cool.”

Former President George W. Bush takes one last look at the White House and wonders if he left the iron on.