Decisions, Decisions follows Roger Ponders (Brendan Countee) and Patrick Shruggs (Adam Countee) as they fight off the tedium of the average workday by playing a hypothetical game of questions and answers.
For example, choose between having all of your meals served to you through a tennis ball machine or be forced to wear ski boots on the weekends. As Roger and Patrick volley ridiculous scenarios back and forth, the audience enters into each character’s imagination to see the potential consequences of each decision.
“Decisions, Decisions” Trailer
The game begins when one of these two bored office workers says, “I’ve got one for ya,” and the other must choose between two totally bizarre, often equally unappealing scenarios.
Mutombo or Gatorade?
Would you rather have to shower with basketball legend Dikembe Mutombo every day for the rest of your life OR have all of your bodily fluids come out purple, like in the Gatorade commercials?
Tennis Ball Machine or Ski Boots?
Would you rather have all of your meals served to you through a tennis ball machine OR you have to wear ski boots on the weekends?
Tinman or Studio Audience?
Would you rather have to dress like the Tinman OR live your entire life in front of a live studio audience?
Civil War or Press Conference?
Would you rather have to take all of your dates to Civil War reenactments OR have to give a live press conference immediately after getting laid?
Cartoon or Bourne Identity?
Would you rather your life be a cartoon OR all of your petty arguments erupt into Bourne Identity-style fight sequences?
Chuck Norris or Pink Dildo?
Would you rather only be able to open doors by kicking them in like Chuck Norris OR have to carry a bright pink dildo with you everywhere you go?
Pooparazzi or Asshole?
Would you rather be swarmed by the paparazzi every time you have a bowel movement OR be a total asshole?
Masturbation or Drunkest Moments?
Would you rather mix-up the words “football” and “masturbation” OR have to re-live all of your drunkest moments?
Al Gore or Controversy?
Would you rather have a miniature Al Gore follow you around wherever you go giving you eco-tips OR be incredibly controversial?
Wheelbarrow or Ewoks?
Would you rather have to have your grandfather wheel you around in a wheelbarrow everywhere you go OR have your office boobie-trapped by Ewoks?
Sea Captain or Doc Holliday?
Would you rather have all of your e-mails read to you by a salty old sea captain OR whenever you play poker you become Doc Holliday?
Napoleon or Larry King?
Would you rather have to defeat Napoleon in a game of RISK every night before you can go to bed OR take Larry King with you on all of your vacations?
Make Your Own Clothes or Gentleman Dandy?
Would you rather have to make all of your own clothes OR observe old-timey courtship etiquette?
Pants-Peeing or Poetry Slam?
Would you rather pee your pants every time a phone rings more than three times OR you can only order food in a restaurant in the style of poetry slam?
Satellite Delay or Nose-Drinking?
Would you rather have to live your life on a three-second satellite time-delay OR only be able to drink out of your nose?
